Baby A was born in May of 2010. I was just barely an adult myself at 21 years old. I planned a home birth with my midwife. We had the birthing pool set up in our apartment. we had bought the birthing kit. I had a playlist.
Then a few days before my due date, my midwife came over for our weekly appointment and checked my blood pressure. It was 180/210. She said, I know this isn't what we planned but we really need to go to the hospital. So I showered, had lunch, packed my bag, and called my parents. My midwife said she had to run home and get childcare set up and she would meet us at the hospital in a little while.
Then a few days before my due date, my midwife came over for our weekly appointment and checked my blood pressure. It was 180/210. She said, I know this isn't what we planned but we really need to go to the hospital. So I showered, had lunch, packed my bag, and called my parents. My midwife said she had to run home and get childcare set up and she would meet us at the hospital in a little while.
As soon as the triage nurse in L&D checked my blood pressure we were given a room pretty fast. I was told I could just have a C-Section, it would be so much easier than an induction. I told them I would rather have the induction thanks. Since my blood pressure was high I was put on magnesium and not allowed to get out of bed. My midwife argued to at least allow me to get on all fours in my hospital bed.
I was asked about 10 times if I wanted my water broken. Each time I said no. Finally about 3-4 hours into my induction my water broke on it's own. As soon as I let someone know my water had broken I was immediately checked for dilation and told it was not sufficient, I should really just let them give me a C-section now.
I agreed to a foly catheter just to get them off my back. It was the most painful thing I have ever had done. At that point I asked for an epidural. The catheter for my epidural came out and I requested it be checked several times but was told it was working just fine and if I was in that much pain I should just have a C-Section and be done. I labored all night stuck in that stupid bed, with a nurse who asked me if I was ready for a C-Section yet every time she came in the room.
Finally the next morning my mother came up to my room. As she was coming in for A's father to go get breakfast the new nurse came in. She checked me and said she thought I was finally at an 8! She came back a few minutes later to tell me she was wrong I was still just a 7. I burst into tears and my mother and my midwife lost it at the same time. I did not see that nurse again.
I labored for a while longer, and my mother in law came up to give my mom a break. I was laying on my mother in law puking when the doctor came in, and SHE asked me if I was ready for a C-section. I said no I felt like I needed to push. The nurse decided I needed to use the restroom instead. My mother had come back at this point and loudly asked why she thought that, since I had only been on an IV drip for 72 hours at that point.
I begged them to let me push. They refused. At that point I looked at my midwife and said, even IF they were going to let me, which it is pretty clear they are not, I couldn't give birth. I am too tired. I started sobbing while my mother told the nurse as soon as A's father was back I was ready for a C-Section.
When they finally got me back to the OR I was so swollen from all the fluids it took them 45 minutes to get my spinal block in, all the while I was about to crown and being told not to push. They finally got the spinal block in and started my C-Section. I even heard the OB that had come in to do it ask why they were doing it, I was obviously doing just fine on my own.
Due to my not pushing, A inhaled amniotic fluid and had to stay in the NICU on an IV for 48 hours. The nurses refused to bring her to me to breastfeed, and refused to call my room when she was showing hunger signs. They just gave her formula even though I had expressed it was not what I wanted. We never did get the hang of breastfeeding.
My doula did all she could but they basically tried to kick her out the entire time and because I was so young they pushed me around when I was at my most vulnerable. It was this experience that inspired me to become a doula myself to prevent this from happening to other women in my position. I was made to feel unimportant and powerless.
When it came time to have my son H, I again used a doula, and while it also ended in a C-Section, it was MY CHOICE, and I felt empowered and secure in the fact that I was not forced. I hope to use this passion to help other pregnant and birthing women in my community so that they never feel powerless or dismissed.